Enjoy, for this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see an 18 year old camwhore drunkenly dildo herself directly in front of her disapproving mom. In a word... FAP. Profile HERE.
Shy, Scared & Fucking Beautiful
Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexial inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
Ever cram an entire packet of strawberry flavored Big League Chew in your mouth and blow an epic bubble? Me neither, only a fucking moron would go through $2.49 worth of premium gum all at once. But hey, that's what this lady's ass looks like. Twitter HERE. Webcam HERE. Porn HERE.
Date: 9.21.12 | Submitted By rosebuttslut | Category: Prolapse
Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker. Black chick HERE, hemorrhoid girl HERE, Edward Scissor No-Hands HERE. Download the song HERE.
Date: 8.29.12 | Submitted By tkn1989 & TG | Category: Amputee
What weighs 325 pounds, has hair worse than Phil Spector, and secretly enjoys getting karate-kicked in the appendix while ripping ass? This chick's 798th fuck buddy, and he's not even the worst of the bunch. Intro track is called We Will Survive. Download all videos HERE.
Seriously what the fuck is that
Skig tag? Tumor? Krang from TMNT? Fuck if I know, but whatever it is... it totally rubbed up against the other dudes thigh at the 1.38 mark, causing a half chewed Bagel Bite to be ejected from my mouth and on to my Where's Waldo themed keyboard. Song available HERE.
78 Percent Of His Sexual Partners Quit
This is legendary pipe layer Big Red, most notable for his 7 inch penis and it's not-so-cervix-friendly curvature. The end result tends to involve women screaming louder than Warwick Davis after the release of box office figures on Leprechaun 4: In Space. MORE HERE.
Broken Dreams, Broken Buttholes
Compliments aren't my strong point, but I must say... chick in the yellow dress is fucking stunning. I'd readily eat Honey Nut Cherrios out of Philip Seymour Hoffman's crusty asshole just for a chance to hold her hand. Someone Russian please hook it up. FULL VIDEO HERE.
The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn
Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled. SOURCES: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9.
Date: 7.30.12 | Submitted By Joe Jackson | Category: LULZ
Heads up kids, this one's gonna blow your fuckin yamaka away. It involves gummy bears, Rocky-inspired butthole punching, and an Alien 1 chest-burster reenactment so brutal you just might soil your Fruit of the Loom's. DOWNLOAD FULL VIDEO HERE.
Dude gets mega blue-balled after his water-buffalo of a girlfriend bails on him mid-coitus, leaving him and his lukewarm boner on a curb in downtown Newcastle. He deals with rejection the same way I dealt with the intro to season 2 of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch..... FAP.
<3 my fans. PROFILE HERE.
Date: 7.4.12 | Submitted By DamagedDolly | Category: Gallery
The Trolling Of Wannabe Pornstars 3
Whores from all walks of life trek to New Jersey for some quick cash and a blistering reality check. This guy does to self-confidence as Panda Express Shanghai Beef does to my asshole: obliteration. Meet the mastermind behind it all HERE. More videos HERE + HERE + HERE.
An insider look at the brutality/awesomeness of sorority hazing, in which status-seeking sluts are stripped of their D&G booty shorts and subjected to ridicule, humiliation, homosexual acts and reruns of ElimiDate. This shits top shelf.
Bittersweet painal, obscenity-filled ogasms, and a boob job pre-dating the birth of jesus. This ones got it all, and Ms. Big Ole Leathery Funbags earns some serious bonus points at the 2:35 mark.. Not even a fuckin rectal injury can dull her desire for ATM. FULL 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
Date: 6.25.12 | Submitted By Creepy Clay | Category: Mildly Retarded
Girl Drops Deuce, Forgets To Wipe
Her ability to wipe her ass is on par with Tom Sizemore's ability to not beat women. Fortunately at least 1 person in this vid has some considerable talent, and that's the dude that miraculously didn't peel over & die after getting a whiff of her shit-box! Song HERE. Full video HERE.
This is essentially a hybrid of THIS video + THIS video, or in more comprehensive terms: 3 parts female empowerment, 141 parts bat-shit fucking retarded. ENJOY. Full video HERE.
Date: 6.13.12 | Submitted By Dissonance | Category: LULZ
The Return Of 'Gentle Breakdown' Girl
Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions. Song HERE + breakdown HERE + profile HERE.
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.