Getting blown by a cute oriental girl.... what could possibly take priority over that? My list is a short one and sitting in a dark room while watching another man masturbate sure as fuck isn't on it. But for this duo, the agenda is a wee bit different.
If there's a book out there on what NOT to do during intercourse, I'd say this dude just paved the way for a fucking trilogy. Nevermind his Rosie O'Donnell-like figure, or his unsettling fetish for floppy disks. The real prize is at the 2.48 mark. Ladies and gentleman, this motherfucker just single-handedly brought back Planking. Download here + discuss here.
I've heard a lot of desperate men say a lot of desperate shit just to keep their cocks submerged in teen sphincter.. but to essentially give a girl the greenlight to defecate on your penis just to avoid a 3 min. potty break? That's a level of dedication I hope to never know. FULL VIDEO HERE!.
There's 3 things that simply no longer exist in my world: 1.) pornography induced erections 2.) positive feedback on my 'this is what a feminist looks like' tee and 3.) dinners at P.F. Changs that do NOT result in 1st degree burns to my anus. This vid solved 2 outta 3. FULL VIDEO HERE.
Technically she lasted closer to 10, but this guy isn't very fluent in "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", so that mahogany-stained browneye got pounded for a few more Missippi's than desired. Emphasis on mahogany-stained . lol. FULL VIDEO HERE.
She has the face/titties of an angel. Clearly knows her way around a ROSS dress-4-less too. Seldom do I say it but this girl is a cunt hair away from being worthy of a Black Angus prix fixe dinner on my dime. Unfortunately though, she has a clitoris like Adrian Brody has a nose.
This girl is ridiculously cute. I want to hold her hand. I want to smell her hair. I want a 3x5 inch cut-out of the computer chair fabric that was blessed with her vaginal discharge. Until then though, check out her webcam shows. And her twitter. And her paysite.
Conversate with live, naked, barely legal teens that'll beckon to your every wish and desire... all for a cost equivalent to the value of an autographed picture of Cuba Gooding Jr. - fucking nothing. Can't beat free pussy.
Esophageal-deep throatfucking, figure 4 headlocks, oxygen deprivation... all in the name of entertainment. Quite unsettling. I'd say Joe Rogan's fetish for forcing attractive women into eating Ostrich testicles on national television may have met it's match. FULL VIDEOS HERE.
Lookout world. This woman has cousins. She also has an aunt that's employed at Circus Circus. Keep these 2 pivotal details in mind, for it's the closest to a clue you're gonna get as to what the fuck is wrong with this psychotic cum dumpster. Discuss here + more trainwrecks here.
To fully appreciate this, first watch part 1 + part 2. This guy isn't just any mope. This is Corn - the likely autistic, positively virgin pornstar that partook in 114 bukkake shoots, 113 of which the beneficary of his cumshot was a cement wall. Starting to understand the significance of the title? Good, now discuss here. Full videos here + here + here.
This is perverse. More perverse than that happy-go-lucky bastard that ejaculates while donating to the homeless. It contains elder abuse, incestuous undertones and a talking parrot that'll channel your every thought. Discuss here.
What does a Toyota Supra, lung cancer and a washer machine have in common? In most cases, absolutely fucking nothing. But this isn't like most cases. This is Czech pornography, the final frontier in sexual retardation. Download here and discuss here.
Another year has come and gone, and while it's important to celebrate the birth of my main man Jesus and ring in 2013... lets not forget to pay a much deserved tribute to the hardworking women of the sex trafficking industry. This one's for you, ladies. Jackoff here and discuss here.
Never have I seen a man do something so incredibly vile with such charm. Where there's tension, he provides laughter. Where there's pain, he provides comfort. And where there's feces on the tip of his penis... he provides dinner. Song HERE and 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood. Full video HERE.
Todays menu: a.) girl manipulates dad into oral sex while mom contemplates suicide b.) leper fucks ass, leper's winky gets decapitated, leper continues to fuck ass anyway and c.) vintage buttrape porn, never fuck with a man that's just lost a game of Old Maid. SOURCES: 1, 3, 4, 5
Big wtf @ girl #3. She taps out, instigates a fist fight and then concludes, mid-tears of defeat, that all in all it was "fun and amazing". No lady. Going diarrhea in a community pool overun by minorities is fun and amazing. What happened to you was just brutal. DOWNLOAD: 1, 2, 3