Storytime With A Crackwhore

2,369,211 views

Slut junkie reminisces about her previous employer - some Screech-looking motherfucker that literally blew a $100,000 inheritance entirely on prostitutes hired for nothing more than to eat Taco Bell and deficate on his face. In other words.. dude's a legend.

Uploaded 11/14/10 Hookers

Crackhead Hates Anal

Inside an abandoned and/or bombed out building, Alfredo, the HIV immune crackwhore whisperer, has negotiated some condomless butt sex from the neighborhoods most ratchet cum dumpster.

3,374,748 views 10/30/16 Anal

I don't remember this in RoboCop

Turns out the 1987 original was supposed to be even more violent. With the new remake getting a PG-13 rating, with it comes the almost certainty to destroy the ultra-violent badass awesomeness of RoboCop and change him into a safe for kids metal pussy. Source: Ourrobocopremake.com

1,701,067 views 02/07/14 Parody

Buy A Daughter, Get the Mom Free: Part 2

The only thing more arousing than a mother renting our her own flesh and blood to the tune of a 2 for 1 BOGO flash sale, is the sequel of a mother renting our her own flesh and blood to the tune of a 2 for 1 BOGO flash sale. I don't know about you but my shrimp roll just got supersized. [PART 1]

1,309,630 views 06/19/23 Asian Sex Diary Hookers

Female Empowerment and Porn

Go ahead and label this the blurring of lines between equality in the work place and PTSD, as illustrated by sex acts that have led more adult diaper sales than In n' Out's Animal Style. Never before has adult entertainment made me prouder of my cataclysmic cache of Walmart rewards points.

1,495,016 views 03/06/23 Hookers

The Virgin of All Virgins

The smile this dude gives off whilst getting his first dick-suck is fucking priceless. Worthy of it's own emoticon. Same goes for the someone-just-farted-in-my-face expression he exhibits once he realizes said blowjob has ended. Every 15 frames lies a Kodak moment.

3,633,114 views 05/27/13 Virgins

SORORITY GIRL FREAKOUT

50,418 views 04/15/24

The Single Worst Invention of All Time

Today's female is too nervous to upload a 13 second video without more filters than Monterey Bay Aquarium . Then... there's this queen. Who has clearly run out of fucks to give somewhere between the 9th and 400th Denny's Super Slam breakfast special. Order now.

826,615 views 09/02/21 Brat Princess WTF

The Most Unfuckable Woman on Planet Earth

Every so often I come across an individual that makes me ask: How much tarantula fucking middle aged misguided trailer park moonshine did they drink before this became a good idea? It's like someone took Rosie O'Donnell and made it harder to see her naked.

1,033,433 views 07/31/23 Mildly Retarded

The Special Needs Prostitute

Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.

2,037,728 views 10/26/19 Hookers