Prehistoric Fap Master

Prehistoric Fap Master

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Uploaded 03/30/09
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Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar 4

If you've ever powered through Fred Durst's 2019 classic "The Fanatic" then nothing will seem out of place. For the other 99.999% of the population: Prepare to be subjected to the kind of cringe Saturday Night Live has been filling their diaper with for the past 2 decades. And tits.

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Cum Hater vs. Gangbang

Much like Tyler Perry going 30 seconds without filming a Medea movie, you can literally see the rage in this chick's eyes. Emphasis on the 0:34 mark with the realization that the $17.50 she just made will barely cover the Clearasil bill.

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WRONG HOLEZ: 2023

The only appropriate video to post on a day where the family gathers to stuff orifices.

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The Undisputed Champ of Premature Ejaculation

What happens when you try to clone Mike Tyson, but the machine takes the eggplant emoji seriously? Sorry, but that specimen needs to be noted here. Was it's purpose to inflict maximum damage, or an aerodynamic choice to reach a new velocity?

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The Worst of OnlyFanz VII

Alright fellas, [-take a memo on your Newton-]: If girls aren't flocking to your Levi's like 1 star reviews to the newest Disney remake, then this might be in your future. Just keep track of those subscription fees so reality doesn't hit harder than 1996 did to Robert Downey Jr.

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Lobster Versus Girl

If the 1980's taught me something, it's that ANYthing goes as long as there's a killer soundtrack behind you. Except this. Not even the renaissance of crack will be held liable for this shit.

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The Absurdity of Japanese Pornography 1

A "last man standing" circle jerk to the death with tranny power rangers from outer space. After decades of being forced to censor genitals, Japanese smut producers have lost their minds.

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The Creepiest Motherfucker In Porn 2

The legend returns in full pussy punishing force. Watch part one HERE and come back to learn his secret on how he tricked over 100+ women into letting him plank-fuck them on film without paying.

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THEY JUST WATCHED?

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Covid-100

If there's one thing that never fails to flat-line a hardon - It's how far Japan is willing to go gate keep the title of Commander of Repulsive Sex Acts. So here's one that won't be getting beat any time this decade. Reddit gags, I laugh, You bookmark.

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Spitters and Quitters

idk, seems pretty predictable to me. Once the enchantment of a $200 payday and living their monthly YOLO moments has worn off, anxiety and regret should be expected. But shoutouts to wish.com for making these precious memories possible.

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Hey Daddy, look what I can do!

Any college girl can pull off a DP, but to pull off near mythical feats of penetration you need a chick that's on a whole other level of promiscuous. Take Malibu Barbie over here, she can't even tell how many cocks are in her at any given time.

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