Go Away Bro, I'm Masturbating

1,045,959 views

This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.

Uploaded 10/19/08 Busted!

caught, fail, funny, public, wtf

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CELEBRITIES REACT: CORONA VIRUS

Today's spread: a.) Famous fucktwats trying to cope with lack of attention b.) Historical tone deaf unawareness c.) Whatever final form Madonna has decided to mutate into. In other words - Three things to make your quarantine just a little bit worse.

1,614,375 views 03/24/20 Famous

BUT DADDY IT HURTS!

Backpage's finest goes by "daddy's baby anal queen" and she aspires for greatness via her butthole. The only problem is she hates anal and her possibly worm-infested colon is so tight, it's like trying to fit an elephant in a Safeway bag.

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The Caught Compilation 4

Admittedly these are all pretty standard 'i drank 2 entire Coronas on spring break and had sex with a house plant' plot lines... but dude in the last clip has some explaining to do. Like, this is why I have to wear diapers at 27-years-old kind of explaining.

4,055,438 views 06/25/18 Caught Compilations

Tricked Into Fisting

The Oakland Doorknob. German Knuckle Cake. Mongolian Taco Punching. Not buying Bitcoin when it was 73 cents. It goes by a lotta different names. But the shame... thats always the same.

3,208,390 views 11/17/17 Girlsway Fisting

The Caught Compilation 11

If this year has taught me anything at all; it's that cabin fever has driven desperate people to the edge. Especially the ones that are no stranger to Walmart gift cards and live on streets that are named after presidents. 2022 is gonna be lit ya'll.

2,477,891 views 12/21/21 Caught Compilations

The Caught Compilation 19

Everything in life has a proper explanation if you open your mind. Except the homie trying to scrub daddy his dirty walnut on a Tuesday afternoon in broad daylight around the 1:45 mark. NORAD will hear about this.

1,397,049 views 07/27/23 Caught Compilations

Shit Pornstars Say 2

The most fail dirty talk of all time and other retarded quips from professional cum smugglers.

4,171,757 views 11/03/16 Shit Pornstars Say

Speed Runner Sets a New Record

This video includes promotion from Faze.

1,073,014 views 12/26/22 Premature

The Caught Compilation 8

Today's lessons: Little Dicky is a literal name (4:21), Tourism is still alive and well (0:11) and statistically speaking, this is the least likely way to acquire an STD in public. Trust me, I've seen 3 full episodes of House M.D.

3,362,398 views 06/25/20 Caught Compilations

THEY JUST WATCHED?

40,580 views 04/15/24

Unacceptable Devices IX

Nope. Not even giving the participation trophy to the self-sustaining personal human centipede butthole hydration conveyor belt device being demonstrated at the 2:30 mark. It may have made the cut for this compilation... but at what cost?

986,406 views 03/21/24 Unacceptable Devices

This is What Prostitution Really Looks Like

Turns out fertilizing your own family tree isn't the only extra curricular activity people practice in Frogballs, Arkansas. Just don't be misled by The Rat King's lack of hygiene; Your respect for the modern day alpha male begins here and now.

2,381,478 views 02/14/22 Hookers