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Damn! One time many years ago I successfully masturbated behind this elderly couple during a screening of that Mel Gibson jesus movie. I always thought I was ballsy for doing that but this motherfucker right here makes me look like a god damn amateur. If I have to come out of retirement to reclaim my title, so be it.
Date: 10.31.08 Views: 458,297 Comments: 0
This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
Date: 10.19.08 Views: 261,298 Comments: 0
She's more than welcome to come shit in my house if she ever feels the need. I see she's not a fan of toilet paper... that's okay, she can just use my face to wipe her ass. Hospitality - it gets me laid everytime.
Date: 10.16.08 Views: 355,582 Comments: 0
He very well might end up getting banned from every Motel 6 across the country, but eventually one of these fat Hispanic maids will do the right thing and finish the man off - just like in the porno films.
Date: 10.15.08 Views: 475,899 Comments: 0
Now if I was that bystander, I would've simply re-enacted something I saw the tour guide do on the Disneyland Jungle Cruise back when I was 8. As the hippo approaches, fire 3 warning shots into the air and shout "get back you beast, get back now!". The hippo will cease all aggression and disengage.
Date: 10.7.08 Views: 304,396 Comments: 0
All I wanna know is how the fuck did he do that without the employee noticing? Some sort of pussy pounding stealth mode... I gotta learn that so I can fuck my hookers without waking up mom and dad.
Date: 7.29.08 Views: 748,182 Comments: 0
I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.
Date: 7.11.08 Views: 770,106 Comments: 0
Ehh what do you expect. It's Lake Havasu and she's like 45. She's practically a grandma compared to everyone else there. If she wants to suck dick without getting booed by the crowd she's gonna have to go to a retirement center.
Date: 6.24.08 Views: 604,190 Comments: 0
Look at all those wild spectators... snapping pics for their myspace. I like the one wearing the goggles and dancing with his toy shotgun. He's special.
Date: 6.22.08 Views: 863,328 Comments: 0
One of you eFukt fans needs to fuck a girl in the back of a full college classroom and email me the video of it. I can make you famous.
Date: 6.2.08 Views: 677,237 Comments: 0
I'm afraid it would take a lot more than a free blowjob to get me to sit through that shitty ass concert. I'm talkin ass 2 mouth at the very least.
Date: 5.2.08 Views: 916,245 Comments: 0
Hey guy... you're gonna need to take your vehicle to the car wash. It's got grandma pussy juice all over it now.
Date: 4.10.08 Views: 432,880 Comments: 0
So this lady thought it would be fun to pose with some naked pervert sporting red face paint on the street. Bad idea! She ends up getting jizzed on and walks away in utter disgust! hahaha
Date: 3.28.08 Views: 971,581 Comments: 0
Luckily he's a premature ejaculator, otherwise a line would've started to form for who gets to fuck that slut next.
Date: 3.10.08 Views: 1,503,585 Comments: 0
Look at her go, sucking every cock in sight! But when one of the boys grabs on her titties, she turns into a raging ginger whore. She wants to bite his cock off.
Date: 2.26.08 Views: 1,090,977 Comments: 0

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