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STRIPPER PORN

DANCING BEAR

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Must've been one hellava magazine. Lemme guess... Tiger Beat?
Date: 6.26.09 Views: 275,366 Comments: 0
Well, it's not really multiple choice now is it? What a creepy fuck. I have a feeling there's a part 2 floating around somewhere on the web. Yeah, definitely something involving a brief chase scene and some not-so-consensual intercourse. I'll be consulting with Google shortly.
Date: 6.23.09 Views: 421,532 Comments: 0
Now you know why the seats are always sticky.
Date: 4.17.09 Views: 668,921 Comments: 0
This really would've been better if he just shot his load on to the person in front of him. Nothing ever ends the way I want it to.
Date: 2.23.09 Views: 493,478 Comments: 0
You always gotta be wary of those naked, middle aged men who like to prance about in red face paint. Snapping a few myspace photos with the aforementioned homosexual may seem tempting, but it's important you understand the risks involved. Watch and learn.
Date: 1.15.09 Views: 708,001 Comments: 0
Damn! One time many years ago I successfully masturbated behind this elderly couple during a screening of that Mel Gibson jesus movie. I always thought I was ballsy for doing that but this motherfucker right here makes me look like a god damn amateur. If I have to come out of retirement to reclaim my title, so be it.
Date: 10.31.08 Views: 743,682 Comments: 0
This is why I carry a 12oz bottle of my mace in my center console. Rest stops are great for quick 'on the road' jackoff sessions but they're almost always laden with dirty old men looking to score free peep shows. If they want to see me make love to myself, they gotta pay... otherwise it's mace to the face.
Date: 10.19.08 Views: 460,721 Comments: 0
She's more than welcome to come shit in my house if she ever feels the need. I see she's not a fan of toilet paper... that's okay, she can just use my face to wipe her ass. Hospitality - it gets me laid everytime.
Date: 10.16.08 Views: 581,629 Comments: 0
He very well might end up getting banned from every Motel 6 across the country, but eventually one of these fat Hispanic maids will do the right thing and finish the man off - just like in the porno films.
Date: 10.15.08 Views: 743,995 Comments: 0
Now if I was that bystander, I would've simply re-enacted something I saw the tour guide do on the Disneyland Jungle Cruise back when I was 8. As the hippo approaches, fire 3 warning shots into the air and shout "get back you beast, get back now!". The hippo will cease all aggression and disengage.
Date: 10.7.08 Views: 458,087 Comments: 0
All I wanna know is how the fuck did he do that without the employee noticing? Some sort of pussy pounding stealth mode... I gotta learn that so I can fuck my hookers without waking up mom and dad.
Date: 7.29.08 Views: 1,188,097 Comments: 0
I should probably visit Bosnia. If girls will drop their panties for dirty old scumbags like that over there, I might still have a shot at losing my virginity afterall.
Date: 7.11.08 Views: 1,143,707 Comments: 0
Ehh what do you expect. It's Lake Havasu and she's like 45. She's practically a grandma compared to everyone else there. If she wants to suck dick without getting booed by the crowd she's gonna have to go to a retirement center.
Date: 6.24.08 Views: 755,683 Comments: 0
Look at all those wild spectators... snapping pics for their myspace. I like the one wearing the goggles and dancing with his toy shotgun. He's special.
Date: 6.22.08 Views: 1,148,095 Comments: 0
I'm afraid it would take a lot more than a free blowjob to get me to sit through that shitty ass concert. I'm talkin ass 2 mouth at the very least.
Date: 5.2.08 Views: 1,178,832 Comments: 0