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STRIPPER PORN

DANCING BEAR

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Ugh. I just puked up 6 slices of Domino's BBQ chicken pizza and now my girlfriend's giving me shit for landing vomit on her Nintendo 64. Tomorrow I'll post something better, for now you just get pornstars who can't count while taking dick... cause multitasking is so difficult and all.
Date: 6.24.09 Views: 319,884 Comments: 0
Enema kits. One invention Russia has yet to discover.
Date: 6.11.09 Views: 465,006 Comments: 0
I prefer seeing the on-set injuries in which women's buttholes go inside out a little bit better, but this one made me giggle all the same. Especially with the ending dialogue.
Date: 6.6.09 Views: 689,275 Comments: 0
I guess it all depends on whether liquid diarrhea is permissible in the art of space docking? Let this one go to the judges.
Date: 6.3.09 Views: 741,121 Comments: 0
I don't really give a fuck what anyone else has to say... domestic violence is always a solution. I'd pimp slap that bitch all the way back into the 80's, a time when her David Bowie hairdo was actually fashionable.
Date: 5.18.09 Views: 546,521 Comments: 0
Sounds like a violation of a contractual agreement if you ask me. See ya on Judge Judy bitch.
Date: 5.16.09 Views: 567,887 Comments: 0
I wonder what that must feel like... to defend yourself from a physical assault as you're in the middle of ejaculating. I'd sue the bitch - 50k in punitive damages for an orgasm ruined. No one fucks up my fap session and gets away with it for free.
Date: 5.9.09 Views: 890,635 Comments: 0
What a pussy. Giving up after just 15 seconds. Never let a little fecal matter interfere with your sensual lovemaking. Ya gotta adapt. It's called ass 2 mouth. I invented it.
Date: 3.8.09 Views: 571,405 Comments: 0
Exact same thing happened to me after having a romantic dinner at Wienerschnitzel with my lady friend. It played out just like the opening of There Will Be Blood when Daniel Plainview strikes oil for the first time. Live and learn baby.
Date: 2.8.09 Views: 964,665 Comments: 0
Looks like women aren't the only ones to suffer injuries on the sets of porno shoots. Professional taco stuffers have a few occupational hazards of their own. I suppose that as long rectal prolapses aren't on that list, being a stunt cock is still my dream job.
Date: 2.5.09 Views: 831,679 Comments: 0
He sounds a little overly excited about his chocolate discovery. Did he forget that that's where his cock goes? By the end of the shoot his penis is gonna look a lot like a pudding pop. I'm not so sure I'd share his enthusiasm.
Date: 2.2.09 Views: 743,823 Comments: 0
This is what America's Funniest Home Videos would've looked like had they opted to produce the x-rated special I pitched them back in 1998. The only thing that's missing is the shitty voice-overs by that talentless cocksucker Danny Tanner.
Date: 1.5.09 Views: 1,023,715 Comments: 0
It's only blooper if it involves a prolapse or someone unwantedly getting poo on their wang. That's the eFukt standard, you all know that. But for this, I just had to make an exception.
Date: 12.29.08 Views: 742,329 Comments: 0
He seems pretty happy about his achievement. Try doing the same thing again except next time stick your cock in her ass first. When she comes up to blow you she won't gag, she'll just puke. It's called "ass 2 mouth". I invented it.
Date: 12.14.08 Views: 1,328,897 Comments: 0
What happens when you put a huge cock and a tiny asshole together and shake it up a whole bunch? Prolapsicus maximus, that's what. I never finished med school but it's my professional suggestion that she pick up a pack of band-aids on the way home.
Date: 12.12.08 Views: 1,183,542 Comments: 0