It's "sex tape 101" with this ratchet dork that lets nothing stand in front of his delusions. Not even his dick lint, a random ice cream truck or even his mom will stop him from showing us how to make a porn. #BOSS
Another year has come and gone, and while it's important to celebrate the birth of my main man Jesus and ring in 2013... lets not forget to pay a much deserved tribute to the hardworking women of the sex trafficking industry. This one's for you, ladies. Jackoff here and discuss here.
An insider look at the brutality/awesomeness of sorority hazing, in which status-seeking sluts are stripped of their D&G booty shorts and subjected to ridicule, humiliation, homosexual acts and reruns of ElimiDate. This shits top shelf.
Never have I seen a man do something so incredibly vile with such charm. Where there's tension, he provides laughter. Where there's pain, he provides comfort. And where there's feces on the tip of his penis... he provides dinner. Song HERE and 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood. Full video HERE.
Todays menu: a.) girl manipulates dad into oral sex while mom contemplates suicide b.) leper fucks ass, leper's winky gets decapitated, leper continues to fuck ass anyway and c.) vintage buttrape porn, never fuck with a man that's just lost a game of Old Maid. SOURCES: 1, 3, 4, 5
Big wtf @ girl #3. She taps out, instigates a fist fight and then concludes, mid-tears of defeat, that all in all it was "fun and amazing". No lady. Going diarrhea in a community pool overun by minorities is fun and amazing. What happened to you was just brutal. DOWNLOAD: 1, 2, 3
Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexial inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
Ever cram an entire packet of strawberry flavored Big League Chew in your mouth and blow an epic bubble? Me neither, only a fucking moron would go through $2.49 worth of premium gum all at once. But hey, that's what this lady's ass looks like. Twitter HERE. Webcam HERE. Porn HERE.
Whore #3 is quite adorable. She may not speak a lick of English, but her facial expressions certainly have a story to tell.. namely "ouch, that hurts", "please hurry up" and "why in the fuck did I quit my job at Hotdog On A Stick for this shit". Live and learn baby. SOURCES: 1. 2, 3, 4, 5.
Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker. Black chick HERE, hemorrhoid girl HERE, Edward Scissor No-Hands HERE. Download the song HERE.