For the greater good of porn these basement dwelling wannabe's need the Lassie treatment. These guys thinking they have what it takes to be porn stars makes as much sense as the story line for "Sharknado". FULL SCENES HERE.
Meet the overly intoxicated attention whore at the party. She's a 6/10, blowing .08 now and anyone willing later. She left right after this, I hope she didn't drive. Might of left with some guy...whatever. Better her ass getting rear ended than my Honda. DOWNLOAD HERE.
My biggest turn on ever is Asian girls with
stupid adorable accents and at least a B cup. This one ups the ante and sets a new standard. Kind of like Subways new Fritos stuffed crunchy chicken enchilada melt. I gotta get me one of those! FULL VIDEOS HERE.
Some "feels" I am glad I will never experience in life. Child birth, menstrual cramps, bamboo fingernail torture, or when a unlubed and unwelcomed penis randomly kicks open the door to the house of pain. FULL VIDEOS HERE - 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
The finest collection of eardrum destroying, vomit inducing orgasms you'll wish you never saw. Emphasis on the whole wishing you never saw this shit part. One dude nuts so hXc that he actually ruptures a fucking blood vessel and spurts red. 2.15 mark. You've been warned.
Jackass-inspired stunt involving a weapons-grade slingshot and some cactus goes horribly right when the target, (a gypsy woman's anus), is met with a direct hit. And now I'm met with a direct boner. Circle of life. FULL VIDEO HERE.
The smile this dude gives off whilst getting his first dick-suck is fucking priceless. Worthy of it's own emoticon. Same goes for the someone-just-farted-in-my-face expression he exhibits once he realizes said blowjob has ended. Every 15 frames lies a Kodac moment. FULL VIDEO HERE
Getting blown by a cute oriental girl.... what could possibly take priority over that? My list is a short one and sitting in a dark room while watching another man masturbate sure as fuck isn't on it. But for this duo, the agenda is a wee bit different.
If there's a book out there on what NOT to do during intercourse, I'd say this dude just paved the way for a fucking trilogy. Nevermind his Rosie O'Donnell-like figure, or his unsettling fetish for floppy disks. The real prize is at the 2.48 mark. Ladies and gentleman, this motherfucker just single-handedly brought back Planking. Download here + discuss here.
I've heard a lot of desperate men say a lot of desperate shit just to keep their cocks submerged in teen sphincter.. but to essentially give a girl the greenlight to defecate on your penis just to avoid a 3 min. potty break? That's a level of dedication I hope to never know. FULL VIDEO HERE!.
There's 3 things that simply no longer exist in my world: 1.) pornography induced erections 2.) positive feedback on my 'this is what a feminist looks like' tee and 3.) dinners at P.F. Changs that do NOT result in 1st degree burns to my anus. This vid solved 2 outta 3. FULL VIDEO HERE.