Compliments aren't my strong point, but I must say... chick in the yellow dress is fucking stunning. I'd readily eat Honey Nut Cherrios out of Philip Seymour Hoffman's crusty asshole just for a chance to hold her hand. Someone Russian please hook it up. FULL VIDEO HERE.
Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled. SOURCES: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9.
Heads up kids, this one's gonna blow your fuckin yamaka away. It involves gummy bears, Rocky-inspired butthole punching, and an Alien 1 chest-burster reenactment so brutal you just might soil your Fruit of the Loom's. DOWNLOAD FULL VIDEO HERE.
Dude gets mega blue-balled after his water-buffalo of a girlfriend bails on him mid-coitus, leaving him and his lukewarm boner on a curb in downtown Newcastle. He deals with rejection the same way I dealt with the intro to season 2 of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch..... FAP.
Whores from all walks of life trek to New Jersey for some quick cash and a blistering reality check. This guy does to self-confidence as Panda Express Shanghai Beef does to my asshole: obliteration. Meet the mastermind behind it all HERE. [Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ] + HERE.
Bittersweet painal, obscenity-filled ogasms, and a boob job pre-dating the birth of jesus. This ones got it all, and Ms. Big Ole Leathery Funbags earns some serious bonus points at the 2:35 mark.. Not even a fuckin rectal injury can dull her desire for ATM. FULL 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
Her ability to wipe her ass is on par with Tom Sizemore's ability to not beat women. Fortunately at least 1 person in this vid has some considerable talent, and that's the dude that miraculously didn't peel over & die after getting a whiff of her shit-box! Song HERE. Full video HERE.
Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions. Song HERE + breakdown HERE + profile HERE.
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since the time my 19 y/o housekeeper cried 'no es bueno' after happening upon my unflushed shitter. Day before was Olive Garden night, fuckin Tour Of Italy. To quote Lil Wayne - I made it rain. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
Farted on, finger raped, told he looks like fuckin Robin Williams - this dude endures pain you can't even imagine. Fortunately he's a Sum 41 mosh pit survivor and holds a blackbelt in making Terminator-esque sound effects whilst flailing his arms like a fucking idiot, so it's all good. Full video HERE.