"The Glove Doesn't Fit"

I don't have this problem anymore. I stopped wearing rubbers about 4 years ago after a rather embarrassing incident in which one slipped off mid-intercourse and got lost up in the vaginal abyss of this skanky chick I met at the arcade. Condom was MIA till the next morning when she basically poo'ed it out of her twat during a bathroom break.