The time has come for the followup of a story that will be told in the Internet history books. So strap in and prepare to have your yamaka blown the fuck off, cause we're going on a trip that involves domestic abuse, race rage white supremacy and about 937 reasons not to get married. [Part 1]
Commit to a blind date in the state of Florida, and I'd say you got about a 98% chance of matching up with a person that dispenses more threatening fluids than a Mountain Dew vending machine. And today my friends, you're gonna learn that the hard way.
If you thought we were going to make it through 3 volumes of woman decorating their reproductive systems with everything that isn't bolted down at Home Goods, and not get a single appearance by the only pornstar that could land a Dyson sponsorship; you thought wrong. And quite frankly, I'm a little disappointed. Also RIP Rowdy Piper.
Introducing you to another gaggle of misfits that have managed to find active railroads, public highways and stranger's garages erotic enough to keep the erections at maximum stiffness. Extra points on that last clip, for our hero having enough restraint to not set anyone on fire.
Pretty much the most perplexing acts of genital manipulation I've witnessed since marathoning all 47 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends Videos. My voice matters today more than ever before.
[boo-kah-kee] [Noun] A sexual practice involving a large group of men masturbating on a single person. I sorted over 30 hours of beta's jacking off on gutter sluts to make this. Enjoy.
Every dirty slut should know that a slippery fuck toy plus a cavernous butthole can equal a trip to the ER. Next time save yourself the embarrassing shuffle through the waiting room and tie a string to that mother fucker.
You know you're in the golden age of porn when someone consults Michael Bay for their scene. Too bad the novelty of implied homicide wears off pretty quick when you have to multitask cumshots with Die Hard 1.
I've seen a lot of desperate girls do a lot of desperate shit just to keep their ManyVids account submerged in dollarinos... but risking life and death and a clean record just to keep cOrNhOlEsniFFer69 entertained? That's a level of slut I hope to never meet.
Remember the frigid chick that randomly started sobbing in the middle of a Rocco shoot? It was actually pretty touching, to both my heart & my penis. But apparently that encounter was only chapter 1 in a saga of piss-poor decisions.
