Todays menu: a.) girl manipulates dad into oral sex while mom contemplates suicide b.) leper fucks ass, leper's winky gets decapitated, leper continues to fuck ass anyway and c.) vintage buttrape porn, never fuck with a man that's just lost a game of Old Maid. SOURCES: 1, 3, 4, 5
Big wtf @ girl #3. She taps out, instigates a fist fight and then concludes, mid-tears of defeat, that all in all it was "fun and amazing". No lady. Going diarrhea in a community pool overun by minorities is fun and amazing. What happened to you was just brutal. DOWNLOAD: 1, 2, 3
Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexial inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
Ever cram an entire packet of strawberry flavored Big League Chew in your mouth and blow an epic bubble? Me neither, only a fucking moron would go through $2.49 worth of premium gum all at once. But hey, that's what this lady's ass looks like. Twitter HERE. Webcam HERE. Porn HERE.
Whore #3 is quite adorable. She may not speak a lick of English, but her facial expressions certainly have a story to tell.. namely "ouch, that hurts", "please hurry up" and "why in the fuck did I quit my job at Hotdog On A Stick for this shit". Live and learn baby. SOURCES: 1. 2, 3, 4, 5.
Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker. Black chick HERE, hemorrhoid girl HERE, Edward Scissor No-Hands HERE. Download the song HERE.
What weighs 325 pounds, has hair worse than Phil Spector, and secretly enjoys getting karate-kicked in the appendix while ripping ass? This chick's 798th fuck buddy, and he's not even the worst of the bunch. Intro track is called We Will Survive. Download all videos HERE.
Skig tag? Tumor? Krang from TMNT? Fuck if I know, but whatever it is... it totally rubbed up against the other dudes thigh at the 1.38 mark, causing a half chewed Bagel Bite to be ejected from my mouth and on to my Where's Waldo themed keyboard. Song available HERE.
This is legendary pipe layer Big Red, most notable for his 7 inch penis and it's not-so-cervix-friendly curvature. The end result tends to involve women screaming louder than Warwick Davis after the release of box office figures on Leprechaun 4: In Space. MORE HERE.
Compliments aren't my strong point, but I must say... chick in the yellow dress is fucking stunning. I'd readily eat Honey Nut Cherrios out of Philip Seymour Hoffman's crusty asshole just for a chance to hold her hand. Someone Russian please hook it up. FULL VIDEO HERE.
Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled. SOURCES: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9.